The Price of Freedom

2009-12-24T21:29:00.000+08:00

Well, at least I got a new high score.

2009-12-24T20:02:00.002+08:00

Christmas...ahhh

But what's there to be excited about?
The snow? The presents found under your bed? Running down the stairs to the Cristmas tree to pick your presents?

The Christmas I'm always exited about is from the movies or cartoons, where the children sit in front of the fireplace and pick their presents from the Christmas trees. That's my impression of Christmas, other than the excitement from opening the many presents I'd like to have.

This Christmas, what's there to be excited about?
There's no boxes of presents waiting for to be unwrapped (exept for the ones I bought for myself).
Probably the only thing close to Christmas is sitting down in front of the computer, snacking till my stomach becomes like Santas.

Yeah, so what's wrong with being fat? Children love you.

2009-12-16T19:00:00.002+08:00

The X Factor 2009 - Stacey Solomon: Wonderful World - Live Show 10

Stacey Singaing What a wonderful World again!!
Finally! I get to see hear sing the song.
The results are out, she's third.
Joe's the winner; although I admit, he's good, but Stacey's still my favourite.

2009-12-16T17:07:00.003+08:00

Feel like watching Pearl Harbour. Heard that the movie's nice.

2009-12-01T19:20:00.002+08:00

**** **** ****!
**** this world!!!!
I can't stand you anymore, get out of my life!

or

Don't act like you know anything. You don't know me, so stop acting like you know me.

or

I saw what you did or said. Just because I never heard you say it doesn't mean that I didn't hear you, b*tch!

Why? Are blog posts so hard to infer nowadays?
You know, it's rather dangerous to read behind such lines, because it's the truth that you're gambling with here.

2009-11-24T23:38:00.003+08:00

Days have been fine. The headaches gone, the flu going away.

I feel I have been replaced by some new blood inside me when I talk to people these days.
I don't get it. That blood-- was it some sort of conforming substance? Or was it something else? I can't answer that. I judge alot these few days. Really. I start judging about people, movies, in my mind. Like some critic. It may seem cool, but at the end of the day, it very very tiring. You see, wheh you talk to yourself, or just talk mentally, inside your head, it's much more tiring than running the field.

It's something pretty much hard to explain, let alone understand. Well, for me at least.

Thinking too much. Unimportant stuff maybe. May it be philosophical thoughts, judging people in your mind (like what I do), or even replaying certain scenes you think may happen in future- preparing yourself for what you think may happen. Like playing a scene in your mind, when someone tells you a joke, what are you going to tell them? another joke? Then in your kind, you see yourself telling them a joke. It's very complicated. I think I have these issue. Or maybe others have it too. I don't have a clue what's that all about, but I'm telling you, all these mental activities, they're damn tiring.

2009-11-21T07:10:00.003+08:00

"Life is unfair"
"The world is unfair"

That's one of the laziest statements I've heard.
And it's not even the truth.

How is the world unfair? Watching 2012 last week, made me realise that it wasn't the world that's unfair after all. Watching the movies, looking at the rich and people with high society status boarding the ship, living the common folk behind - you say that the world is unfair?

Why can't we just admit?
Admit that it's people who are unfair, admit that it's people who are selfish!

When I look at the people who had passes and seats on the airship, I think, what gives them the right and opportunity to survive, something that the the rest of the folks who died didn't have? Was it because of luck? Like how Jackson's family survived because Jackson took them on a plane? Was it because of some people knew that to survive, they had to save themselves? Like what the monks did to save themselves and their grandma? (That's commendable, by the way) Or was it because of priviledge and money? Like how the rich man and the two daughters has seats to the ship?

Looking at people who got what the rest didn't have, why do they have it? Why should they have it?

Looking back, when the RMS Titanic sank, thinking of the passengers who didn't get the chance to board the life boats, I wonder, those people who boarded the life boats, what did they have that the rest of the passengers who died didn't have? What is it because of, that they got a chance to survive, that the rest didn't have? Uptil now, I can't find the answer.

So, is it because of this, that people say the world in unfair? Because they can't find the answer?

Why isn't it because "People are unfair" or rather, "People are selfish"?

2009-11-21T06:52:00.004+08:00

Being a lover of certain songs and music, I begin to wonder if listening to them while doing homework can be some form of insult and disrespect to the artist behind it.

Call me weird, but I don't know why, I always have such thoughts and opinions.

Sometimes at the library, when I really really get darn annoyed when people chat in the library, or I get bother by the noise from the living room, I put on my ear plugs and play the music. Not just to block out the noise, but rather, to put me into the right mood, or simply, the songs are just better the the noise. It's very very convenient to listen to songs while doing math then other subjects. You see, while doing maths, I can afford to listen to the words, because maths -they're just numbers. But I can't possibly do Chinese or English while listening to songs, because I end up paying attention to what the artist says than what the passage's about.

Now's the problem.

Each track I listen to, every score, every song, has an artist behind it. Each song tells a story, at song writer has carefully chosen the words, the music composed. Each score I listen to, every note plays a part to the mood of the music, and behind each music, tells a story too. There's an artist behind each tracks I listen to. The songs, scores, is the work of an artist who have put in effort to bring the mood out.

I begin to question if what I'm doing is right.

Listening to music while doing homework, you pay all the attention to what's on the paper, but the songs or music - they're just noise? Isn't some sort of disrespect to the artist, because when the song plays, we should pay attention to the artist's work too? When we do homework playing songs, musical scores, isn't as disrespectful as chatting, reading a book while the dancers on stage perform?

Preteen Joys

2009-11-14T11:36:00.006+08:00

"We went to the moon & ren got an F"

I liked Christy Carlson Romano. She voiced Kim Possible, which was the Disney series I was OBSESSED over in P5. I watched Disney Chennel during the weekends, Studio D, I still remeber! And when I heard that The Kim Possible Movie would be playing on Disney Channel, I was damn exited. Yeah, I liked Cristy Carlson Romano so much I printed out a picture of her, A4-sized and put it in my school file. I was p6, hahas.

Master of the Gym

I just enjoy the disney series of the past. Like Even Stevens. Hahas, I remember. Shia LaBeouf was Louis Stevens. I watched Shia LaBeouf in Even Stevens, but I didn't watch Transformer though. And I remember Louis was very joker, hahas.

This used to be my wallpaper. I stil love it though. So cool.

2009-11-14T11:36:00.001+08:00

It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.
~Oscar Wilde

2009-11-14T11:33:00.002+08:00

I don’t have the faintest idea of what you did, what you showed, or what you’d be doing in future. But in any case, if you should be involved in any activity that would have my friendship jeopardized, I would like to warn you beforehand. I’m not going to jump to conclusions, or make assumptions like what I did, but I would hope to see you mind your own business, and not to jump to certain conclusions which were never pointed out. Probably, you’d think this post wasn’t directed to you. I pardon you’re disability to see such warning before hand, because I assure you, it wouldn’t be pleasant, if I destroyed something important to you, something as important of what you would have destroyed of mine. I haven’t said anything about what I know about you, so I see no fairness in what you may say behind my back. Probably, you’d think that I much unaware of what happens behind me, probably you’d think I didn’t see you, probably you think that I didn’t know what you saw.. You probably don’t even know what the heck I’m talking about anyway. But whatever you interpret this as, remember, I didn’t say anything, so you’re free to infer what you’ve seen behind my back at your own risk, or rather, with your stupidity. But don’t forget either, the couple who were caught by the witch- they never surrendered their daughter.

Just to heighten fantasy, like you'd think it was. I don't think the message would ever get across.

2009-11-12T09:44:00.003+08:00

The X Factor / The X Factor 2009 - John & Edward- Auditions 1 - (itv.com/xfactor

The X Factor / The X Factor 2009 - John & Edward - Live Show 5

2009-11-11T18:01:00.005+08:00

Newsroom / Sources Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013

A video worth watching

2009-11-06T14:47:00.003+08:00

封神榜(Gods of Honour)

Currently obsessed with Gods of Honour now. Well, as I've said before, Yin Shi Niang, 殷十娘 is my favourite character. I think she's the greatest mother I've seen on TV, and I really admire her. If you've watched the series, you'd understand: Not every woman can do what Shi Niang did. The way she loved her son! Have you seen how upset she was when she hit her son in the rain? (In the video, 1:17 to 1:20) Did you see how sad and worried she was when that 柳琵琶(Liu Pipa) broke the statue of her son? And have you seen her anger, the way she hit Liu Pipa onto the ground and slapped Liu Pipa multiple times when she thought that Liu Pipa had hit her son? I really, really like her. And she can be funny and cute at times!

Her son, is Nezha. 哪吒。The next character I like best is him. :D
He may have been an unfilial son, was rude to his mother, and he 削骨还父，削肉还母. (Which means he cut himself up to return his bones to his father, meat to his mother.) So that he owes them nothing. However, he turned over a new leaf later, and at one point, when Nezha was captured by his father in the father's Padoga, Nezha spoke up for his mother, telling his father that he had no right to blame Shi Niang. And I was touched, to be honest. And I like his attitude.

Later, a female character, Su Daji came into the story. I think sahe was the first Lady who striked a feminist chord within me. The first time, I was intrigued by the questioned she asked in the show "Why is it the dragon always above the pheonix?" Also, she ended up being the antagonist, I still feel sorry for her. It was sad, in the last episode, when everyone in the palace left, she sat on the throne alone (she killed the King and took over), and she began to recall the good old days.

So Gods of Honour has been one of the very few dramas that I like, and I still enjoy now though I first saw it on TV when I was in Primary 1.

The vigilante in the Mask.

These are one of the most memorable drama series I have watched.
:D

2009-11-02T22:29:00.002+08:00

Mr. Connan: Tell us the truth, what's the answer?
(pauses)
Mr. Connan: Were you....
Lady: To tell you the truth: The answer with most credibility is a yes, but the truth is, that I myself do not know the answer

2009-10-31T16:58:00.002+08:00

Rented two movies after the SA2.
One was Shutter, the other was Flawless

To be honest, this is the second time I'm renting Shutter. No, not that I liked it so much I decided to rent it twice. But actually, it was because I didn't quite have the courage to watch it the first time I rented it.

So this time I decided to watch it, since I think it wouls be scary.
And I did
I didn't really hug my giant bear like some bimbo(which was what I did when I watched Saw).
All I did was to lean against my bed frame.
Trust me, this is a good technique. Leaning on something so that your back is not expose to anything helps to build up some sense of security.

And so I started watching it.

The movie did gave me a few good shocks, I have to say, and better, scarier than The Amityville Horror. The movie was great, the storyline, the plot was smooth, It wasn't the time of movie that was "just for sudden scares". It was a movie, a movie where there's a story, not just compilations of videos of ghosts popping out. And I liked it. :D

The plot was good, and I liked the part where the picture dropped in the science lab, and Tun's discovery of the source of his neck-aches.

There was this part, where Tun asked for toilet paper from the guy in the cubicle next to his, and the hands, they had long, red nails. Tun got a shock, but it was actually a transvestite. And that was what I had guessed. :D

2009-10-31T16:47:00.002+08:00

Now that the PC's finally repaired, I can blog with ease. With all honesty, I've never liked to leave a trace for my family to track down my blog. I don't know why, but I simply don't like it.

Not even when they look onto the screen when I'm typing. I'm very very critical about privacy.

2009-09-27T00:31:00.002+08:00

Gosh, that was good! Seriously. I agree with Simon. And she makes the song sond soooo nice!

Cowboy Casanova! Carrie's New song. I like the song, the melody's addictive, and well, the lyrics are nice. The lyrics I like the most, is this part:
"But hes candy-coated misery

Hes the devil in disguise

A snake with blue eyes

And he only comes out at night

Gives you feelings that you dont want to fight "

Gackt and Ai Kago!!!!!!!! It's so cute! And funny, especially at the last part where Ai Kago asks "Can a man live that long?" So cute!

Love story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wRkoGKQ8qQ
At the start of the year, I didn't know why did people kept playing this song on their phones. I thought it was just some 'love story' about a girl and a guy. But as time when by, I changed my view about the song. ABout a few months later, when I listened to it again, listening closely, I realised, that songs aren't just a story and music, but rather, it puts you through a certain mood. So now I listen to it, and I came to realise how wonderful it was, and it gives you some indescribable feeling or mood. Taylor Swift definitely deserved the CMT Music Award.

Yes, I about the mood thing...so I guess that's why I listen to Jap songs though I don't know what tey're saying...

2009-09-12T23:43:00.001+08:00

Well, complacency leads the climbing to a fall

2009-09-01T21:29:00.004+08:00

I not in the mood for work. After waking up at 1:45 pm today.
I can't concentrate, I don't feel like doing work. What's becoming of me?
They had it right. I should die. Why? Because my life's going down the drain? Why? Because of what the fortune teller said?
Oh well, you'll never know. Because I'll never tell you.
And how I wish he was in Singapore now. How I wish I was beside him.

****************************

There's so much hate.
There's many kinds of hate.

The kind of hate that makes you wish someone dead.
The kind of hate that stirs when someone accuses you of something you didn't do.
The kind of hate when you just don't feel yourself.
And last but not least, the kind of hate when people insult me.

Yes, I hate reading blogs sometimes. It's fun to read posts and look at pictures and laugh to yourself. Until you stumble upon just a word, a phrase or a sentense that seems to be directed towards you. Today it's 2. It could be me, its could be someone else. But as you read, who else could it be? That person insulted must have been me! Dammit! I hate that person!!! Oh well, if you don't even know yourself, I don't think anyone else would know you.
Other than the silent mirror.

I would have had a darn long post. A long, very very long post. But it was loast. Despite that I saved it. But never mind. You wouldn't understand until I said it over and over again.

But like again, I lie. You'll never know what I type is true. This post could have been made up, that post could have been made up. It could be false, just as false as the promise I made to my mom to end the post in 5 mins.

TYPED AT 4:59 MINUTES after the promise.

2009-09-01T21:29:00.001+08:00

2009-08-09T02:45:00.003+08:00

The three ________ said they were done.
The disillutioned, the certified, the man-made one.
One for wealth, one for name
The last one died for a pure flame

2009-08-09T02:10:00.003+08:00

I hate life. It sucks.

Anyways, back to topic. I hate life.

I hate the stereotypes. I hate being judged by how ugly one is, what kind of friends you make.

I'm not blind.
You get judged because of the people you hand out with. Trust me.

Then, you are less liked because of your looks.
How many times have you knocked onto someone and when that someone turns around and looks at you, they don't feel offended for being knocked into, but get a shock from looking at your hideous face. I've seen it happen before, and it happened to me before.

Then, you get discriminated against because of a trait you didn't ask to be born with.
Try doing something new. And you'll see the intermediates lamenting behind your back when you leave. Try doing something with another type of human. You''l how strong the discrimination is.

Then, you have to face the real assholes from the real world. People who boss you around, people who think their type is the best, people who yell and vent their stress on others on a f**king Friday morning. Idiots.

Wait. There's more.
There's friends who gossip behind your back because of your poor quality work; that's selfish, because you are never given a chance to know where you went wrong. Unless you're in the toilet when that happens.

There's disgusting animals who look onto the binded feet with lust. That's worse. That's disgusting. They should die. Don't come and crap about your f**king mentality. That's not mentality. That's excuse.

2009-08-07T20:29:00.002+08:00

OK. It's NOT romantic to light candles everywhere. Especially at home. What the hell, set the fucking house on fire?

Drama series........

2009-08-07T19:12:00.003+08:00

Cool. The men came today:D
But that's not the really fun part.
The fun part is where I fell when I tried to slap, yes, not put, but slap cream back to Jun Rui, but I fell on the cream when I chased him. (Sharmini: "*Laughs* It's not whether who saw you, but who didn't)
The fun part was making fun of Perleen
The fun part was looking at Meh Meh when she did the 'cross arm' action and said that she was supposed to stand there

Anyways, went home. Watched Beautiful Boxer.
I actually have movies that I haven't watched yet.
And I bought them since last December.
Like Maui Thai Chaya. It's still in my cupboard.
Well, watched Beautiful boxer just now, and I only watched till the part where Nong Toom started deteriorating because he took female hormone pills (in the movie).

It's scary to think what female hormones can do to you.
No, I'm not being a sexist, but it's just that having a higher percentage of it makes you weaker.
If you've watched the movie, you'd know what I mean. Because the boxer was a transvestite, he wanted to become female, so during the period he entered the boxing competition, he took the pills. And he got trashed.
That's the part till I watched.

I'm not saying that there's something wrong because of hormones, but it's saddening and depressing to see all those pecs and muscles turn all soft because of hormones. Imagine the years and months and sweat and time needed to build all those muscles up. Wasted, isn't it?

2009-08-01T14:44:00.002+08:00

"Donna: Wh-wh what are you all doing here?
Bill: I'm writing a travel piece.
Harry Bright: I- I'm on a spontaneous holiday.
Sam Carmichael: I-I-I I just dropped in to say... hi. "

Watched Mamma Mia last night.
It's so nice and fun, especially the 'spontaneous' part.
Well, I like the movie. It's cheerful. I have to say, it makes you want to sing along with it. And you could, if you turned the subtitles on. Try it. Singing along with the musical. C'mon, you'll see what I mean. You're alone/with your sister you can just sing along with the ABBA songs. No one will laugh at you. Well, that's what I did.

One scene I liked the most is the Dancing Queen. It's very musical like, to sing dancing Queen and dance around the island, with a long line of women dancing behind. In fact, the dancing crowd, wherever they went, the women joined and sang Dancing Queen around the island!

But all in all, it's a little funny and the songs are nice.
******************************************************************

2009-07-30T18:45:00.002+08:00

She was the countess of all. The savage more potent than the beasts. And the victim was time.

2009-07-30T14:09:00.003+08:00

Some people wish to be born later. They get better stuff, like laptops, Iphone, etc.

But I'd like to be born earlier, actually.
I like live in the final fantasy era, where FF was the craze. I wouldn't be called old if I liked games from the past. And the games would be more available.

I like the music in the 90's, like Malice Mizer, X-Japan. Sometimes, I just wish I was a teen in the 90's, because everytime I watch an MV or listen to a song from the 90s, performed by a band who has already disbanded by now, I'd be like "Disbanded? Man! How I wish I was born earlier to see them play!"

Now I watch this last live in 1997, and I think it would be darn good if I could see them play live one day.

I love Malice Mizer!
I like their style, it's darn nice! And the music! And Mana!
Just watch and look at the way the perform. Impressive. And their appearance? It rocks. Just as good as their music. And yes, I like Mana. And Gackt too.

But I'm glad with all I have actually. Though I still feel sad that bands disband. Why? I'm scared that I'll never get to see them live again. Unless there's a reunion.

2009-07-25T16:58:00.002+08:00

Just a random picture. Back to childhood

"Beware of the gay fangs,

stinging you with the scars of its bright poison,

and slithering its way in the dark of the night. "

2009-07-21T01:24:00.002+08:00

“The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.”
-William Somerset Maugham

If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were
~Unknown

2009-07-21T01:05:00.002+08:00

I love you.
Now you're out there, just so near me, and I just can't find you.
I don't even know where you are, but I know, you're just near me.
How long will this last?
I hate you.

2009-07-20T22:50:00.003+08:00

I've always wondered why stupid women like bad guys. Well, at least Stomp says so.
Attracted to jerks?
There's are many cases which pisses me off, like for instance, people advise this stupid woman not to give money to the guy everytime he asks for it, but the stupid woman says "But I love him".

Firstly, that's stupidity, not love. Anyone can find love, as long as they have money and don't wear mascara.
Secondly, this will only make people think, why the hell would this girl like Jerks?

Well, I can't berate that stupid woman for loving a jerk.
Because I'm not any better.
I don't just love them. I fantasize about them, download photos of them.
But I don't lose much.
Maybe that's because the Jerks I am attracted to, were never human.
No, not dogs.

Since P5, I ha been watching Kim Possible, and I was deeply attracted to Shego. The Henchlady of Dr. Drakken. There's something that I just like about her. I was crazy about her. People said, 'But she's the bad one!". I don't know, but I just like her. I even joined her Fan Club.
[In this case, Jerks does not have to be a guy]

Now, it's gone worse. I started liking guys who wanted to destroy the world.
When I first watched FFVII:AD, I didn't go crazy over Cloud, the hero, like most people did. I was damned attracted to Kadaj. He was evil, and I liked it. Well, I'm not stupid to the extent that I'd give him money.

And you know the bunch of bad guys from Mulan?
There's a particular one with long hair. Not the Giant one. One of the sidekicks. Yeah, I find that attractive too.

Ok, I admit, there's something wrong with me.
I like Jerks. Well, not loan-sharks or rock-band-punk jerks , but rather, take over the world jerks. Yes, weird, isn't it?

But still, not to the extent of letting it affect my life.
I don't think I'll ever meet an evil henchlady/henchman, or a Larvae of Sephiroth.
When it comes to evil, I don't think I can meet anyone who can beat Kadaj/Sephiroth.

***********************
Anyways, just some random topic.
I'm now attracted to him. Yes, this time, it's really a him:

The one extreme to the left.
Somehow, I don't know why, the moment I saw him, I knew I'd be obsessed with him.
And I find this picture of him really really attractive.
Illuminati. A very very alluring song that makes you wanna play the keyboard.
And I just love him.

2009-07-19T17:46:00.000+08:00

Gosh. I didn't even DO the trigo worksheets yet!

2009-07-19T17:24:00.002+08:00

Mobile phones are important to teenagers.
Just like families.
Both are indispensible.
But sometimes, they can be $0 value.

I just realised that I have no soul.
It came to my mind that families are the free things in this world.
I feel heartless typing this, but yes, we didn't ask for it, and we still got love, warmth and shelter.

And it's a tradegy to reach the intellectual level and learn that families come for free.

Oscar had it right.

"The old believe everything
Adults suspect everything
Youths know everything"

Well, maybe I said so to prove that I'm young
But I'll never know.

2009-07-17T21:26:00.002+08:00

I like removing my tagbox. It makes me feel better :D

Somehow

But anyway, I can over my fear. I actually went to the gym.
Then when I was finally comfortable, I asked myself.
"I do this, is it for getting a little praise from other people, or is it getting the most out of my life?"

And I can't help it.
It's friday. I flipped a few pages of my chinese book. Then I ran out and turned the computer on. :)

Just like Dancing Queen. Enjoy the music.

ok fine! I'll do it tomorrow...

2009-07-11T17:34:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoO3sRfGDD8

2009-07-11T16:25:00.002+08:00

Something weird happened to me.

It was 1.50, my tuition just ended and I was outside waiting for my mother. I told her it ended at 2, so I called her.
No one picked up. I called several times.

So I decided to do something very rash and evil.

I went home first. No answering her calls. Deliberately making her worried. Now she knows how it feels to be unanswered. At the bus stop, I was deliberating if I should go back. I could go back, and shop at NTUC with her. Go back and eat lunch, a good one too.

But I was too fucking mad. Devil all the way, I went home.
"Nothing is forgivable in this world. You pay for your sins. Game Over."

When I reached home, I was too angry to watch any movies, so I slept.

I dreampt. I dreampt that there was a war, I was separated with my mother. I packed my stuff and left. Only me and Joni and Aunt and grandma. I was scared. We travelled by a coach, and there was even a guide. Weird, huh?We were at the beach, at night, and there were strong waves, so strong that it engulfed me. Then finally, I don't know what happened, but in the dream, I saw my mom again. I was darn glad.

Then I woke up, and my mother was beside me. I told her to sit beside me. And no, I did not cry when I wake up. I had too much pride for that.

But on the bright side, it occured to me that my Sin had caught up with me. I made my mom worried and now I got worried in my dream.

But I'm not telling you to appreciate your family or whatsoever.
Just sharing this weird experience.

Not a chain mail though

2009-07-11T10:48:00.002+08:00

The first key to failure is being happy with what you are now
The second to to know and yet don't apply
*********
I was damn happy yesterday

I saw Gackt, Malice Mizer, Moi Dix Mois album at HMV!!!!!!!
I was touching it. It was soooo close!
I wanted to buy Beat of Blood, but my Aunt said it was too expensive.
But the few minutes of holding those albums had been worth it

Oh! And I also saw some magazines. And there was FXIII featured. But I didn't buy though. Can't afford a PS3.

2009-07-05T22:58:00.002+08:00

Disgusting people
Be glad I used the term people, not animals
I don't want to insult animals.
OK, disgusting things.

Sick Bastards.
I can't stand such SOBs
I hate them! I will never never never be like them.
Stupid bastards.

Go ahead. Go ahead and play your chauvinistic role in the public stage.
Go ahead and show how a man looks like.
In the end, in the fucking end, you'll just be judged and the most efficient animals the human eyes have ever saw.
Disgusting. You think you're brave, you're in control, you dominant, but in the end, you prove to be an ornament. You only prove youyself to be an animal who wnats to control human beings.
Go ahead and call them objects. Calling the onject won't make you any better, thye only prove how stupidly chauvinistic you are. Shut the fuck up and return to live in your universal lie.

Climb over your head? We'll see!
You and your cock eyes saw the news. They could climb Mt. Everest
What the fucking hell shit makes you think they can't climb over your head?

Many many more.

Sons of a bastard.
Disgusting filth.

2009-07-05T22:43:00.004+08:00

I haven't heard of Sin till
The devil's deed crossed my mind.
For it hit upon my mortal soul
I had crossed her line

I looked down the broken steps
of the dusty stairs
Wondering it it was my mind or the devil
luring me into Satan's lair

To fall into the depths of degradation
To seek an unanswered love
I pray to finding salvation
Oh, sing me songs of the white dove

I saw her sitting on the devil's lap in the dark
Reading Sins through her shifted lenses
Struggling from the pleasure of guilt
To remove the leech of lust from her senses

Now I have heard of Sin
For he ran pass my mind
As his trident stabs my soul
I teeter upon the devil's line

2009-07-05T14:05:00.002+08:00

I have a crazy family, actually.

My mother used to be hit by a falling watermelon. 高楼抛物.
Now, she has a lame daughter, who thinks she's a man, and another weird daughter, who thinks she's a good musician.

And my aunt?
She randomly comes into the room, and says 'Tennis'. Then she swings her racket.
And you know the annoying birds who comes into the kitchen for food? Well, many times, that happened in the kitchen. And guess what my aunt did? She deliberately put chilli sauce (泡菜）(remaining of our lunch) in the kitchen, near the wiondow, just to trap the bird and make the bird cough, so the the bird won't come again.

Anyways, talking about birds, I hate old men at the park.
Not that I bear a grudge against them or the chess plays, but I hate those who keep birds trapped in the cage.

What are wings for? Flying, right? (Eating yes, but only after they die :D)
Now you trap them in the cage, they can't fly? Can I have a good ground of saying that it's against nature to trap birds?

And back to yesterday,
It was fun. I should have brought Rosso along. It was boring until I decided to draw a volleyball court and play 'volleyball' on the paper, or draw.

2009-07-04T07:22:00.002+08:00

I hate myself.

I don't try to blame the sphinx
I don't put the blame on others when I get degraded.

But what remains as the inalienable truth is that, it is the false the disgusts me.
All the wonderful stories, end up, you find out that they never really happened, and they were based on fantasies?

Oscar was right. Woman ruin romance by trying to make it last longer.

It was desire that corrupted the mind, eating the sense out of its host

All but lust is turned to dust in humanity's machine.

I hate myself.

2009-07-04T00:06:00.002+08:00

Just realised that I have no self-control.
The moment I read a new book, expecially some interesting one, I can't stop.
Same goes for food.

Anyways, the reopening of school has been fine. Pretty funny though.

The apple, the mucus, and few other people.

2009-06-23T18:52:00.001+08:00

I never had to bother checking for events in this country until I missed to important events

First, The Final Fantasy Distant Worlds
Second, the cosplay/J-rock thingy!!!!!

http://www.singaporestreetfestival.com/event_jrock.html
They talked about Malice Mizer!!!!!!
Mana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-21T00:39:00.003+08:00

The worst insult to a human is to be degraded.
The worst insult of degradation is to be less human.
The worst insult to be less human is to be an animal.
The best way to determine an animal is on statistics
The best interpretaion of statistics shows how crime rates reflects on psychology

"There are various interpretations"
~Genesis Rhapsodos.

It's nice to have wings. The various interpretaion of wings, whether in the form of muscles at the sides, or real wings. It reflects, whether you are a monster, or is it a symbol of freedom.

Sure, wings make human monsters, but they are also a form of freedom.

2009-06-20T23:48:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GemjLMA9rzQ
The REAL Iron Ladies

2009-06-19T17:31:00.001+08:00

Wow. Dissidia's soundtrack's out

2009-06-19T16:59:00.002+08:00

There's two tpyes of friends, from my shallow interpretation.

One, is the friend that will tranform the lives of others, like some founder of a poor country. The other, is a friend, regardless of the plight the friends are in.

The first friend, for instance, has a friend who is a whore, will help the whore. The friend will convince and help the whore to get out of the industry, find a better job. This type of friend, either probably loves the friend too much to see him/her suffer as a whore, or simply feels that "This is wrong. I feel that you should not do such stuff!" Just like telling your friend not to sniff glue.

I'm not saying that we should take drugs or sniff glue, but you realise, that when you tell your friend not to break the law, you are actually worried for that friend, and this shows some emotional attachment.

The other friend, for instance has friends, from loan sharks to lawyers. Here's one thing: This friend doesn't interfere with the friend's life. This friend, has a thinking "Friendship is friendship, between people to people. What has status got to do with it?"

But whether or not, this friend tries to bail the law-breaker out someday, I haven't got a clue.

I'm not saying that the friends who tell you how to live your life are bad, I'm not saying they have feelings for you. Neither am I saying that having bad friends is 'cool' or advisable, that 'no-string friends are not friends, I'm not saying that the 'other friend' is bad.

But if you realise, the 'otherfriend' is actually more carefree. She doesn't have to be so emotionally attached to friends, that she keeps worrying about whether she will get caught, blah blah blah.

2009-06-15T12:34:00.002+08:00

Jigsaw: Hello Ivan. As a voyeur you've kept photos of those you have victimized. Can you see the pain you have brought them? You have torn apart their lives. You have used your body as an instrument of abuse. Now I give you the chance to decide what is more important... Your eyes which have led you blindly astray? Or, your body? Which has caused all those around you endless suffering. You have been handed the tools which can save your life... decide quickly though, in 60 seconds... the choice will be made for you.

The next time you want to rape, think again.

Saw 4 has portrayed torture as a form of retributiob, as form of our Sins catching up with us. You see above? He used his body to abuse others, now it's his body suffering. Makes sense, right?

Saw 4, as I watched while eating durians at the beginning last night, I realised, Saw 4 was not a film that was produced for blood and screaming, and there's lessons behind it. And I also found out, that there's literature in it.

Literature? In a bloody film?
Well, here's an example. A man, a drug addict and thief, preyed on the kindness of others, stealing to feed himself. When he finds himself in Jigsaw's trap, he was stuck in a chair, with a device, with knifes pressed against his face. In order to free himself, he has to press his face against the knives. Jigsaw said, "Today we're bringing the ugliness inside you out in the open. Now in order for you to stay alive, we have to match your face with the ugliness of your soul"
To free himself, his face would be ugly from the cuts, as ugly as his soul. Makes sense, right?

And surprisingly, this 'sinful' film actually makes me a Saint. After watching Saw 4, would you rape and become like Ivan (as above)(I SO did not make up the name.)? I would'nt, because I don't want my body to bring pain upon others, because in the end, how I bring pain upon others is the way pain will be brought upon me. Would you steal and prey on the kindness of others? (That means no picking on people's weakness??? No more evil? Where's the life???).

I stop at this question.

I start to wonder, is my soul as ugly as my face?

Anyways, Saw 4 makes me wonder about life. It makes you a Saint, really. Try watching it. You wouldn't dare do any evil after watching those films. You wouldn't even dare to abuse your wife.

Try watching.

I assure you. I watched, and my Sins caught up with me.

2009-06-14T20:44:00.002+08:00

I have no guts.

I'm scared of many things.

Don't doubt that line because I have sat in front of the TV when The Amityville Horror was playing. Frankly speaking, I have never finished watching the movie Shutter. I admit, I was a little scared, and I rented the DVD without ever finishing it. Not only it was a waste, I never managed to 'feel the horror'. And if I'm scared of a movie, you might wanna imagine how I felt when I walked up the long stairs to Old Changi Hospital last year. I was scared, really. So I went down.

I still remember that night during the nightwalk. I admit, I wasn't brave. When we were at the 5th level, near the Art room, I never looked into the art rooms. and I was afraid of being the last. Really. I have to own up, when Jolly and I were walking at the back, I actually told Wai Kit, not in a nice tone, to stay at the back, so I'd never be the last. When we walked past the exhibitions, I heard I cry. Well, eveyone did. But I actually believed it was not human-made. I own up to my cowardice. The cry was so soft, I thought it was beside me, according to what we were told at start of the night walk. I believed it, and that made me a little scared, but I tried to stay cool. While grabbing on the the Junior's hand.

I'm not that brave after all.

And to add on, I feel that this horror films or nightwalks or better, less scarier that Saw.

If I'm scarerd by horrors, you'd like to think deeper how Saw scares me. Why? When you encounter something scary, you can't die, you only get scared to death (That's a figure of speech, mind you). But when you encounter Jiwsaw or Amanda, 99.99999% chance you'll die. First of all, it involves blood, and not everyone is mentally fit enough to play those games. Secondly, you can never win Amanda.

To add on again, I think G. I. Jane is scarier than both.

Sure, to not meet scary stuff is a blessing, to live is a blessing, but is it not a torture to be able to live, and yet, people won't let you live the way you want? I'm not saying that we might as well play with Jigsaw, but imagine, you enter a workforce, where no one wants you to succeed. Imagine, the moment you step into the place, you're the only female. Imagine, the moment you step into the camp, eveybody plans to get rid of you. I have dreams, I know how it feels.

It's scary, really, this world. I don't know why this feeling occurs to me, but that's how I would feel, if I entered the Army, and the whole bunch of guys wants to get rid of me, stops me from finishing the NS, looks at me as if I was a pest, discriminates me and does not want me do to well. It's scary to think of that. Imagine, wanting to be a soldier, but everybody, when you have not even offended them, want you to leave. How are you goignt accomplish what you do, when these people, like instinctive monsters, what to get rid off you?

I'm scared of scary stuff, I'm scared of Jigsaw, I'm scared of being discriminated.

I'm so timid.

2009-06-13T00:24:00.002+08:00

It is pissing to hear people cough all day long, and still not die.

It is even more pissing to see the ones whoe deserve to die, not dead, and the ones who deserve to live getting cancer

A father's job will always require 9 minutes, the mother takes 9 months.

Lovers, in other words, are toys with strings attrached. The worse part is that they don't see themselves as one, but others see them as one.

No amount of plastic can surmount to the depths of superficiality.

Starting rumours, or starting wars? Either one, you're not human.

No woman, no smart ugly women can survive in this world being naive.

The world is never unfair, it's just that society is subjective.

Gays, will never lead a happy life.

There is a clear line between a stupid woman and a human

There's no such thing as unbiased friendship or love

There's no such things as love. Only lust with strings attached

Theer's no such things as friends, only tools with connections

There's no such things as joy, only sparks of firewroks lighted over one's life and the sparks land on other.

There's no such thkngs as fairness, only survival,

There's no such people as bitches, only people whose eyes can't stand others doing what they don't like.

There's no such things as communism, only people forcing of other to live the way they live.

2009-06-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

"Have your ever had a gay friend?"

"No"

"And how many gays have you known?"

"If that's the case, you've got no right to look down on us."

2009-06-05T17:43:00.002+08:00

I hate them

The first is the kind who invades my privacy, thinking they are welcomed or I'm some junior to them and they don't have to respect me because I'm not as old as them. So what ever I do, they tend to keep their eyes on my mouse while I'm using the computer. I'm not looking at porn shit like most animals who are idiotically born with superiority just because they are not led by brains do, but I just hate it when people know what I'm doing. I can't stand asses like them who want to know what I do. I hate it. I hate it when they find out what kind of person I'm like. Wether I'm feeding a child with just a click, doing science research, typing poems, I hate it when people know what I'm doing because it makes them know what king of person I'm like. Assholes.

That's one of the reasons why I chose not to have a PS2.
I don't like people to know what kind of games I play, because they'll be like"Hey, this girl Rikku, why is she in a bikini? What sort of game is that?" Then my mother will think I'm some deliquent who will end up like some bitch/whore because I play games where there's bikini girls are, like what animals do. They'll be like "That's SO violent! Why is this man slashing people?" I can't be bothered to answer them. Tell them what? Tell them the LOOOOOONNNGGG history of the character? How his blades were made?

The second, is people who take my stuff, or MAKE me share my stuff. Sure, I eat as slow as hell in school, but one reason why I eat fast at home, is because of my fear, that some bitch/cunt would ask me to share it with her. I hate it. I hate it when she takes my food. It's not that I'm some glutton who refuses to reduce my food intake when I'm already in TAF, but it's a matter of ownership. "Can you give me a bite?" Can't, for once, can I have something, whatever that thing is, disregarding whether it's food or not, can be used only and only ME????? Maybe that's why I LOVE putting my cookies in my shoebag, because it will never be eaten by people. It will always be MINE AND ONLY MINE!

Bitch

I hate women.
They suck.

And I have a feeling there MAY be another conflict.

2009-06-05T17:33:00.002+08:00

Faggots.

2009-05-29T19:44:00.002+08:00

I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED OUT THE FINAL FANTASY DISTANT WORLDS CONCERT IN SINGAPORE!
IT WAS ON 22 MAY AND 23 MAY!
DAMNED IT!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DID YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I EVER WANTED TO ATTEND A LIVE FINAL FANTASY CONCERT?
THEY PLAYED AERITH'S THEME!

AERITH'S THEME!
THE SONG THAT LASTED FROM CRISIS CORE TO ADVENT CHILDREN!
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT SONG IS WORTH?
AND AERITH IS DEAD! THAT SONG IS WHAT IS LEFT OF HER! DAMN!

AND WTF, I MISSED IT!

THEY EVEN PLAYED ONE-WINGED ANGEL!
ONE WINGED ANGEL!
THE SONG OF SEPHIROTH! THE REUNION!
THE SONG!!!! THE VERY SONG PLAYED WHEN THE GREAT, DARN ,AIGHTY SEPHIROTH APPEARS!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!

LIFE'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!

DAMNED, I COULD HAVE GONE TO THE CONCERT! I WOULD, I WOULD!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-29T19:15:00.002+08:00

Suddenly I'm interested in the cartoon Mummies alive again.

And Sports Carnival was fun. No class is crazier and more fun than 3/3

Time

2009-05-28T19:07:00.004+08:00

Time.
We had been enveloped inside her since we first breathed. We have been embraced by her gifts, but we had always taken her for granted. The mother of life, are there not times where she had been waiting for us, waiting for us to finish our work while we were still playing the computer. By the time we finish our last game, we realised that she had left, and she could wait no more, and only then, we realised how badly we had treated her, promised her our duites and only to break it in the end.

Time.
We have taken too much out of her. Will she last? We'll never know. We have expected too much out of her when we take her for granted.
When we lose a match, we pray to her, telling her to walk backwards, let us serve that very ball over; when we fail a test, we pray to her telling her to backtrack, giving us a chance to study the particular question we left blank; we even pray for her to move back, so we could go back to the past, and be more serious in our CCA instead of fooling around. Sometimes, we wished for her to stop, so that we could spend the whole day at Wild Wild Wet.

Of course she didn't follow. We had ignored, shunned her aside to many times because we took her for granted in the past, didn't love and embrace her in the past when she was present.
And now that it was only 3 minutes to recess, we would pray for old mother Time to hurry and hasten her speed, rushing her to bring us to the queue in the canteen.

See? We have been asking, telling, begging her to do as we please, but have we ever thanked her?

Now, is she calling me to finish typing this post and finish my chemistry notes that I scribbled at the very near the ringing of the bell because I dozed off? Now, is she calling me to finish my notes, and practice my excercises and crunches? I seldom heard her voice in my ear unless I was late, but I never felt her presence during training because I was too busy being angry at people, because I was too busy laughing, until this year, when she whispered into my ears, telling me she has only one year left for me, and when that time comes, I'd leave. She also held me tight sometimes, telling me there was an important examination I had to take next week.

But her absence savages. When she was not around, I would curl up in a cozy corner, trying to defeat bosses in Crisis Core, gaining crystals in Final Fantasy until the clock reminded me of how Time left me.
Now, she's beside me, reminding me of my SA2, deliberately having the bring up Chemistry.

But I'll never expect anything out of her

I'll just embrace her, hold her tight, and never let any piece of her left untounched or wasted.
Maybe what I said was what is heard before the ring is put on, and there may be divorces. But who knows? Maybe I'll stay faithful?
I will. Other than Time, what else can I ask for?

2009-05-26T17:28:00.003+08:00

I think the best way to love a person, is to not love the person at all.

To not love the person, barring her from the knowledge of love, will spare her the pain when one's time comes.

If a mother has never loved her child, spend time with the child or taught the child to love, will the children be hurt if the mother herself dies? No. And that's a way of protecting the child, because the child is protected from the hurt and pain of the mother's death. And that roots back to the mother not ever taught the child to love, thus not knowing what pain from losing a loved one is.

After all, if one has never experienced love, how can one experience pain of losing it? Thus, by sparing the child from pain, it's a form protection. So now you understand why not loving the child, is protecting the child, and ironically protection is a form of love, but in this sense, not loving is a form of protection?

Ironically makes sense, right?

(Same goes for never experienced failure, how to experienced success? Reminds me about SA1 results, but we'll keep moving forward and prove our courage to continue)

And here's a better example.

I read somewhere about a wife divorcing her husband
"I would like to get a divorce, because I've enough of your protection. You've protected me from any pain I can ever feel if you are gone"

Funny the way the world works, isn't it?

And isn't stealing what we were taught to be immoral and wrong?
Well, then won't stealing a heart be as selfish?

To make a person fall for you, thus causing the person share a bank account, a bed with you, won't that be physically and practically selfish? Also, steal that heart of the person, to make the person so in love with you they give part of their lives to you, isn't that greedy? To make the person give you their heart, isn't that selfish? Isn't that taking away the person's chance of loving another person?

Now, that's a point, isn't it?

2009-05-24T17:23:00.002+08:00

You're a sexy girl
but in a sexist world

It's hard for a feminist to find love.
A feminist, in terms of simply seeing females as human, neither sex objects nor submissive creature, has a hard time finding love, that is, if she is straight. The lesbian feminists has their share of romance without having to desexualise themselves from the rank of humans. I shall explain why.

You see, the reason feminists have a hard time finding a boyfriend, is because there is a price to pay. To be able to be held on a cold and lonely night, to be able to protected, to be able to be loved, surely, surely there will be some kind of degradation. Take my word for it. Well, those women, won't magically turn into creatures or ornaments, but they are treated like creatures or ornaments. And this is enough. And if one were to be degraded, won't that be eating the words of their own radical notion?

Indeed, there is no free lunch in the world.

2009-05-22T21:47:00.002+08:00

I have many things to say

1] I admire Ayumi Hamasaki!
When she was young, she pursued her career, and despite that there were setbacks like acting in movies that received negative criticism. But still, she was good! I listened to some of her songs, and yes, they were nice! And compare her to the little girl in the past, she's great and came so far! Because she didn't give up.

And she has a condition that has made her left ear deaf (said in 2008), but still, she wanted to continue singing! Isn't she great? And it's passion, like Demi Moore once said, that drives us.

Hamasaki revealed that an inoperable condition, possibly tinnitus or Ménière's disease, had caused complete deafness in her left ear.... ...Despite the setback, Hamasaki stated that she wished to continue singing, and that she would "not give up" on her fans and that "as a professional", she wanted to "deliver the best performance for everyone".
Credits/worth reading:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayumi_Hamasaki

2] I admire Taylor Swift even more
If you have read up on her, she has been rejected by record labels when she approached them with her CDs when she was a teen, like us. She said that the rejection hurt, but the comments from friends hurt more. But still, who is the singer of "Love Story" and "Teardrops on my guitar"? She never gave up, because she really persisted, and the best thing is, she went through the criticism, but she was never put down by them, because as you can see, if she gave up, would she be as famous?

At age eleven, Swift made her first trip to Nashville hoping to obtain a record deal by distributing a demo tape of her singing with karaoke songs. She gave a copy to every label on Music Row. Swift faced rejection, not just from record labels, but also from her peers
Credits/Worth reading:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor_Swift

3] Training was tiring.
I have to sacrifice my love. I have to stop loving Oreo McFlurry after realising it has 500+ calories.
And I decided that because it was terribly painful during training, when we were told to do what coach told us to do. Trust me, that was the second most tiring thing, apart from hand walks.
I hate handwalks. I admit, it's hard moving your 50kg body up and down.

Talking about weight, I feel inferior.
There's actresses and game characters with better heights, and they are still lighter...
Did I sound like a bimbo? Who cares. Society.

4] I will learn to understand

2009-05-22T20:19:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELLE!!!

And well, do be more mature, like you said!

"Sarah tripped over the coconut tree while tyring to take a photo of the moon"

2009-05-20T19:21:00.003+08:00

Singapore’s all—women team successfully summit Mt Everest
http://malaysia.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090520/tap-461-singapores-all-women-team-succes-231650b.html
CONGRATULATIONS! They did it!!! They did it!!! They proved the world!!!!

"Failure is not falling down, but refusing to get up"

Phew
Today's training was super draining. OK, it's physical training.
It's time I lose weight.

Or follow the Anorexic commandments

"Thou shalt not eat without feeling guilty"

Hahas, but too bad, I love food, expecially chinese/japanese/italian/hawker

Anyways, back to cheemology

"Zack, do you remember what I said? About our enemy being all that creates suffering?"
- Angeal, before facing Zack
VS
"Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us."
—Squall Leonhart "

There's a link, right?

So you see, it's different standpoints that creates suffering.

2009-05-18T21:46:00.002+08:00

I am the love that dare not speak its name

Tis is the life ye gaveth me
But I shall not let a lady
in doubt of my dreams she can't see
to stop the dreams I want to be enbraced by me

No one ever protected me. On a few short-term occosions, yes, but in the long run, no one ever protected me, and I'm grateful for that.
Because that has taught me how to protect myself, not to be so naive, and to be able to breath each evening without having to feel the pain of absence, but only presence from within

2009-05-17T09:27:00.002+08:00

I created a new account as one of them, so I won't be hurt again, or I won't sin again. I wanted to be unhurt, untouched by them, so I disguised myself as one of them.

But then developed a pleasure for beating them in games. And I loved it. But thing is, beating them only in games, won't that make me too complacent to beat them in real life?

Then I thought of the reason again. If I wanted to beat them, I could use my old account too. To beat them, you needn't be them. And here's a funny thing. So what if I beat them in the games? Does that make me beat them in real life?

Isn't ture that cyberspace talks had seen people who are rich and powerful in games, but are nothing in real life? I don't want to end up beating them in games, and losing them in real life, which is what that really matters.

Bye Weiss.

2009-05-16T22:26:00.001+08:00

I fell asleep watching Shutter. How terrible.
It's scary, and I didn't finish it yet.

I actually rented them.
And I realised I still have movies under my desk I haven't finished, or even watched yet.

2009-05-16T20:57:00.002+08:00

She glanced over the blinking screen, muttering "Tsk tsk tsk, since when did you learn to play like some bimbo?"
The fingers stopped dancing around the keyboard. The lady stopped to think, looked up and laughed.
"It's not being bimbotic. It's being chauvinistic", she grinned.
"If you continue to think like that, you'll never get a husband! Don't you need to be loved? We're humans, and we all need love,"
She looked down, into the lady's eyes. There was something dancing and flirting inside her, but at the same time, she could sense a strong root of dignity and superiority empowering from within.
Minutes later, when the lady was alone, she stopped and stared blankly at the screen. She stopped to think. Were we humans?
When he was young, before he entered The Room, he saw eveything, as objects.
Now after she left The Room, she saw eveything, as monsters.
One was inhuman. One was an object. So what makes us humans?

2009-05-16T08:12:00.002+08:00

Watched Charles Angels Full Throttle last night
I wanted to watch Shutter, the thai version, but I was scared. Surprisingly. I thought if I could handle saw, I could handle anything like Amityville Horror

Anyways, I think it's very very lame.

I realised that there's some reoccurence about having three girls play the hero, and nevertheless, there's scenes where they appear in bikinis. Other than the safe, child-friendly Totally Spies.
Look at the similarities between Dead or Alive and Char;es Angels
-There's three girls
-Who can fight and take on more men
-Who appears in bikinis at some point
-And fight to 'save the world' thingy

Seriously, I think the three-hot-chicks-save-the-world thing is just for comic relief. There's no way you can drop off a cliff, jump off a flying truck, and hog on to some speeding plane.
And if using chicks to save the world was so efficient, why doesn't the military use them?

And I watched it because of Lucy Liu and Demi Moore, and Helen Zass (Hel-en's ass).

And Demi M0ore was good!
But IU didn't like the ending. It's always like that. The happy endings come when the couples fall in love. And there was this scene where Cameron and her boyfriend were like "We're getting..." and only in the end, "a puppy!!!!"
It's lame. No offence. The guns were cool. Demi's Ferrari was great. The Bos was funny. And I saw young Shia L. The young guy from Even stevens!!

2009-05-15T16:30:00.003+08:00

Demi Moore talks about GI Jane

This is so cool!
You should've have seen those muscles when she did the one-arm push ups!
And I actually admire her for being able to be so strong!
And she didn't gave up! Gosh, she's damned strong!!!!!!

2009-05-15T15:53:00.002+08:00

Rainy weather now
Just a perfect time to stay at home to play com or do your work. If there's any.
Instead of going swiiming and head to Marina or Raffles to buy your new pencil case.
Which was what I intended to do,

Anyways. read the Teenage magazine just now, and I want to watch movies during the June Holidays! The magazine mentioned some which I plan to watch, like Ghost of girlfriend's past and the Hannah Montana Movie!

Yes, I want to watch the Hannah Montana Movie! I'm not childish, but I think it's funny, and the funniest of all always included Jackson. I think's he's damned funny.

Anyways, as I was looking through the magazine, I didn't see Bunraku! There is a movie coming out. There is a movie bunraku. I've even checked it on wikipedia and youtube.
Let's hope Bunraku can make it to the Cinemas here, since its from hollywood.
Let's hope it can be well-received! I don't want it to become like D.E.B.S.

And I've started playing Audition again. But I have to admit it's not as fun as before. I'm downloading Maple. Let's see if I still find it fun.
Which reminds me of the damn movie quote from Twilight "Nothing will ever be the same"

And I'm surprised humans and vampires can have kids. What about Vincent Valentine?
And talking about the mixed breeds reminds me of The Little Mermaid.

2009-05-15T12:05:00.000+08:00

"Don't make me regret this, Zack"

2009-05-11T10:27:00.002+08:00

Isn't it beautiful?
Beauty, real beauty ends where an intellectual expression begins.

I have to study later
There's chinese tomorrow.
I admit I'm quite kiasu
If others are studying, I think I HAVE to study too

Yes, I don't want to lose out, I admit

2009-05-10T17:57:00.001+08:00

http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Sara

LOL!

2009-05-10T17:04:00.000+08:00

I HAVE to study
I don't want to copy out the whoe textbook!

2009-05-08T22:14:00.002+08:00

I feel like some nicat
I printed out what to do in Final Fantasy (game)
I arrived in Gaia. And I don't know what to do
But hey! I didn't print still hundreds of stacks. the font size in 8, used in notepad. And they last me from days to weeks.
And the paper's mine.

OK, enough bitching.

Anyway, things have been weird. I haven't studied like that since primary 6.
And you wouldn't understand anyway.

And I still cannot wait! Tekken, FFXIII Agito, Dissidia.
And I think Jigsaw rocks XD

2009-05-04T18:48:00.002+08:00

Klahahahhahahahahaha!
Happy Birthday!
I still love Beast of Blood!

OK. Enough of the damn lamenes and naive wishings
Now on to business. I gotta finish my dinner quickly and I have 2 stinking hours to study. Because no dinner's starting without my cousin.
She's coming for dinner. Yeah. The kid whom I bullied when I was in P3. She was only a toddler, and I took me and Joni took her balloon till she cried. And we did that in front of her mothers.

Maybe I shall talk about the girl one day. Awwww

And I can actually feel my critical pessimism draining away bit by bit.
It seems like I've become a stupid woman by having feelings and becoming human.
I feel disgusted looking into the mirror.
Oh, please, I'm not trapped in time, I'm just hating the way I've become. Its the degradation of my pride. Damn
I'll get the correct cells to stop the degradation.

I certainly cherish my pride and prejudice
I just hate the fact the I'm becoming human. In a negative way. I'd rather be a monster with angel's wings.

You'll never get what I mean.
But I just want to become a monster again.
It sounds like I'm pleading somebody, but maybe it's Minerva?
Or is my heart the darn root of all my problems?
If so, I'd give my heart up for wings

Failure is not an option

2009-05-03T17:59:00.004+08:00

There's Twilight playing on the screen next to me now. My mother's it seems. Eurgh! She calims Edward to be handsome. Well, different people have different tastes. I'm watching G.I.Jane on Youtube now. Interesting, actually. But I can tell it's hell going on there

Running, carrying some darn heavy boat, rolling giant can of metal, going through some pretence training and getting your feet broken.
I'm not good with those terms, but yeah.
I found out, it's the SERE training.

It;s tiring, from what I see on the screen. With the Gayle guy tempting you to drop out. Imagin holding up some life boat for the whole night, when a warm bath back home's awaiting you.
********
Anyways, bacl to life. I got to Gaia! And there's this damn fast airship!
And the stuffs there's costly

And I just help my mother kill a crab!
She's making pepper crab, and I stabbed a crab till the kife got stuck!!!!!

2009-05-02T23:04:00.002+08:00

Few things I hate about families
Not that I'm not grateful, but, yeah...

-When they think medicine works.
I hate it when parents keep feeding their children medicine, thinking that they're miracle pills that can make poison go away like some Final Fantasy Remedy. Especially when it's something that cannot be cured by medicine. Then they still think "I gave gave her her medicine. She'll be fine"

-When parents are happy lost a match
I hate it when parents are like "You lost, that's good. You can concentrate on your studies now". Thing is, you think that results are everything, you don't give a damn about other non-academic activities we like. Is that your idea of being a upportive parent? Oh, hell yes in spamming mug on us. "You next week got exam, what should you do?". Yeah, I know I shouldn't be using the computer and study till my eye go blur and die of stress or depression. Better still, go crazy like the girl in the drama series because of the pressure her mother gave her and go bonkers. Let the jury and head-shrinker blame the parent.

-When parents think we are idiots
I'm not trying to say I'm smart. I can't figure how much 4-D costs as well as you do, but can you respect us, treat us as humans instead of some cute cuddly baby? We don't give a damn about how you cuddle us, we want your respect, and listen to us when we have something to say, instead of being "You're a kid, there's things you don't understand". Then you don't tell us and wait till we are 18 and tell us.

2009-05-02T22:03:00.003+08:00

I took it from inside the car. Don't mind the reflection

Yeah, you can see the hospital

The route we walked to the chalet

The chalet!

I actually asked my mother to drive past the place, and of course, I didn't do inside. I was a distance awya from the hospital when I wlked towards the chalet, while Julia was still with her family, and I could feel the similar feeling inside me. The kind of feeling I got when I was walking up the stairs. But the feeling on the stairs was 1o time more potent.

2009-05-02T18:01:00.003+08:00

Damn. I hate headaches
And yeah, I finished watching Saw I
Well, more action, less blood.
And the only gory scene was the guy cutting his own leg off
And poor guy.
One of them actually threw away his own keys unknowingly at the start of the game
And those were the key to the chain to his leg.
And he found out only in the end. Poor slob.

And I'm quite disappointed actually.
I watched Saw to make myself scared and appreciate life more, but apparently, it wasn't gory enough to instill the fearto Jigsaw to sprout a sense of appreciation to this world.
And when Jigsaw said he was disgusted with people who didn't appreciate life, I was busy controlling my impatient temper from flaring when my grandmother was walking as slow as hell in front of the TV.

One of the scenes I remember was this man being stuck in a web of sharp nets, and Jigsaw said

John: Hello, Paul. You are a perfectly healthy, sane and middle-class male yet last month you ran a straight razor across your wrist. Did you cut yourself because you truly wanted to die or did you just want some attention? Tonight, you'll show me. The irony is that if you want to die you just have to stay where you are, but if you want to live, you'll have to cut yourself again. Find the path through the razor-wire to the door but hurry. At 3:00 that door will lock and then, this room becomes your tomb. How much blood will you shed to stay alive?

I don't know what I would do if I were this man.
Cut or die? Well, that's the painful irony, and like some paper you didn't study for, this type of irony only come up when you don't expect it

Maybe if I were Paul, I'd just slowly die there. Die of hunger, die of thirst, die without love, die without my soul.
But that's the funny thing. When it's your body who decides to embrace this sick truth and lie there, entrapped by pain to accept such fate, it is something at the back of my mind, who doesn't allow me to die. Something inside, a voice, telling me that such action is nothing but a decay to the human fighting spirit. Then that's where I want myself to crawl out. It's like love, protrayed and compared in some sick way. Your heart's with the ideas of lying there for the Grim reaper, your head weants you to get off your damned ass and live.

I have always been following my head mroe than my heart, actually. Sure, there may be stupid times, where I was more off-track and inclined towards my heart, which is actually what I consider a wrong decision, but Minerva knows- I ended up off my heart and back to my head
Who knows? Maybe if I were Paul, I find myself awak in some god forsaken place, I may be the one crawling out like Amanda.

Yeah! Talking about Amanda, I actually admire her until she refused to let Doctor Lynn go in Saw 3 (Which was the bloodiest and best!). One thing I admire was her courage and guts, to kill someone, just to save her life. It's not about the killing of a fellow human being, but its about her having her will to survive. Well, though I have mentioned before that it saddens me to see one human torturing another. Mainly like scenes in Wolf Creek and Jigsaw's acts

Oh! And Jigsaw never killed anyone, you can say. Why? Because he sets his traps in a way that his victims kill one another, or fail to rescue themselves. He never directly killed them. He's like some Professor Hojo, standng in his laboratory of sick human practices, watching people die in his traps.

Here's the classic last lines of the Saw series
John: Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more... [begins to close door]
John: GAME OVER!
Adam: Don't! Don't! [screams, screen goes black]
Adam: NO!

2009-05-01T11:21:00.001+08:00

Some love too little

Some to much

Some sell

Others buy

Some are stationary

Some beastly

2009-05-01T11:11:00.004+08:00

Before you say anythig 'smart', do think again and this time, before you make your sweeping and ironically groundless statements, do show your damned face instead of hiding behind from word. Boo. If you really want to openly say something, why don't you just show your face, instead of hiding behind the word/shades and express your views like some coward?

Before you say that, have you ever looked at yourself first? Look into your fucking mirror, and see, how 'better you are'. Before you even get a fucking notion about what the hell we are talking about, look into your mirror, if you are smart enough to find yourself in the mirror. You might see the mirror crack.

Befoer you say you start hating stuff, do you hate the type of people, or the whole majority. Fine then, we'll do the same onto you. Get a clue about a certain topic before you even talk about it.

Animals

2009-05-01T10:20:00.003+08:00

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the things that you
I wanna walk but I run back to you
That's why I hate myself for loving you

Now, I really feel like some bimbo

I want to buy a new pencil case!
Big enough for my phone, wallet, two calculators and stationary

And Lee Jun Ki is gay!
He admitted in an interview, as so I heard
Gosh

And gackt!
I saw him in a vedio scaring Belle, his dog, with some Gundam Toy
Awwww
And he's releasing a new album!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And where's Bunraku?????????
I can't wait!!!!!!!
And Gackt actually wrote Last Song for his ex-wife!!!!
No wonder the song was so emotional.
And yes, I love the song!
And he was separated from his wife because fans sent death threats to her
wth!!
Sure, I'd be jealous, but at least I wouldn't do such a thing

2009-04-30T22:44:00.002+08:00

I'm too outspoken, I noticed. Maybe I'll die in the streets one day.
Or be killed by cells

But that's not the topic.
Serious:D

Fucking radical notions.
Well, not that I'm very pissed though

I just lose it sometimes

Some damned fucking cunts.

Joni keeps singing in her high pitched voice

60 things guys need to know about human- Pardon my soul!

2009-04-25T22:22:00.003+08:00

This is what human looks like

3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
Jigsaw thinks about his victims before he sleeps too

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
Before Jigsaw captures his victim, he plans his games too

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
A girl who likes you wants to be the only girl you talk to too

10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
Don't talk to your guy friends about your girlfriend

11. Guys get jealous easily.
Yeah right. Like you need to compete with another guy. Like hell your wife has 3 husbands

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
Girl's are good liars, but stammer when they lie during too

16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
Yeah right. Hope this method works when you capture prisoners of war

21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
We all love teasing Sarah, don't we?

25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
Then I guess paedophiles will develop many grey hair

30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
Yeah. Couples do stupid things anyway.

31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
I never thought FHM was so deep they provided personality quizzes

35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
Paedophile and rapists have mental problems too

39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
When your friend seems to be never around when you are eating shit probably its because she is disgusted

42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
Girls don't like guys who are so stronger than them they can hold a lady down in a dark alley

48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
Yeah. They're drawn to the weather?

51. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents ALL of
us.
Not all girls are females. Just because one uses the girl toilet doesn't mean they all are girls

57. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.
Tickle me! Tickle me!

60. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
STD?

Self-awareness week

2009-04-25T17:23:00.003+08:00

If you have read the papers lately, I'm sure you've seen a group of women in politics.
Yeah, they are in politics.
And this has only proved some statements immortal

No matter how egoistic chauvinists and misogynists are, no amount of men and sum up to women, when it comes to women-hating. A second thing, is that even if people are equal, some people are equal than others.

Who said history won't repeat itself?
I'm sure many people would be critical about this too.
In honesty, I never really liked social groups where it protects women
They make women seem as though they are beaten up by their husbands.
And make women seem like weak little girls.

But you can't say they portray women as weak.
You should have seen them argue in front of the press
[They're behaving like 2/2 :D]

And this gives misogynists another chance to attack us.
Damn!

***
Self-respect
Self-respect is not banning chewing gums, mind you

And PS: Just because some kiasu Aunty rushes to a seat and knocks on to you, or is rude to you, doesn't mean the rest of the population are
I have encountered many rude people, and I agree on the lack of social graces
Including people like me? Sometimes.

And I agree on the kiasu part.
But I'm not kiasu.
Serious.

2009-04-25T09:26:00.000+08:00

I'm playing Habbo.
Don't know why, actually.

2009-04-25T09:07:00.002+08:00

I'm free!!!!!!!!!
I'm freeee!!!!!!

I'm finally freeeeeee!!!!
Muahahahahhahhahahahhaha
I'm freee!!!!!!!
Free from the dark, caverns

Free from the cacophony of cloistered flame!!!!!

Free!!!!
I'm back!
I'm back

audrey is finally back

AUDREY IS FINALLY BACK!!!!
FREE.....AT LAST@!@#!@#@$@#$

I AM SO FREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'M FREEE!
I'm, freweeeeewrewrewrerewrw4ertewrrewtw44wEEEE

I'm fucking free!!!!!

Long live FCC!!

Well, who cares if it's sad.
Maybe its sad. If I want it.

BUT NOW THAT IT'S GONE, I AM SO FUCKING FREEEEEE!

LET GO OUT TO CELEBRATE,
I AM FREE AGAIN

AFTER 4 FUCKING MONTHS, I am finalllllyyyy freeeee!!!
free from the minature handcuffs!

I'm fucking continuing my studies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Weeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LONG LIVE SAPPHO!
LONG LIVE LUCY DIAMOND!
LONG LIVE GLORIA!

2009-04-24T17:09:00.002+08:00

I think I screwed up my Chinese Compo. Damn it
I think I've to improve my Chinese if I want to pass my Chinese this year.
And Higher Chinse next year
Yes, you may think I won't pull through.
But well, you're not god.
You're not the Cetra or Minerva.
You can't say that I won't pass higher Chinese
You can't say I that cannot pass because I just cannot pass.
I do badly, it's because I've not worked hard, I'm slack.
You can't say that I can't improve if I work harder.
Remember, you don't own me. I own myself.
And you're not god or Minverva. Just because you say I suck does not mean I suck.

After venting my anger, let's pretend you didn't see the post up there. It's wrong to blame people anyway. I'm just got to keep moving forward :D
Unless I want to get kidnapped by Jigsaw, I shall improve on my Chinese
I will :D

Enough of emoing
It's the weekends!

As the lightining strikes
I find you there
Covered in angst
From this virtual love

2009-04-23T18:55:00.002+08:00

"Miss USA California HATES GAYS?!! Opposite Marriage is Opposite AMERICAN!"

I may be one of those who's yelling
I'm not offended, actually. It's up to people whether they want to believe in something, or whether is it right or wrong. Micheal was right. It's not a matter of religion, but it's the matter of you deciding whether it's right or wrong.

Gackt falls alseep. Awww

Some said that it was cute, and I admit, it's fun to see him fall alseep, but it's rude to fall aleep when someone is talking

2009-04-22T21:56:00.002+08:00

该死的沙文主義!
哈！真是 "明知男有险，莫向情山行"

我才不管你能不能理智我在说什么废话！
我认了你这般人，人了旧得要命！
你们一直说你们爱我们，怎么能相信你们这番废话呢？你们不是骗了我们几个月，几年，也不是骗了我们一生，其实，是骗了我们一千年了！

2009-04-19T20:52:00.003+08:00

OK, now I can revive my blog.
Good news!

-I found the Earth Crystal! Well, Final Fantasy stuff.
-I completed my composition. I delayed it actually, but I did it! Yay!
-Tekken DR is out! (I hate it when it's hogged at arcades, and people stare when you play

Anyways, these few days I have been thinking alot.
I missed volleyball.
Let's talk about the reminiscence of the Ultimania Volleyball Chalet we had last year
It was fun, I really have to say. The laughing from lame jokes, grabbing Tessa's and Janelle's legs, poking The Sarah while talking about phenomenons, Arvin pretending to be a cat, Mr Singh scaring us, gossiping, chatting, annoying Sarah!

Those thoughts just surfaced up to my memories as my mum fetched Julia to the chalet. And we passed the OCH. I'll tell you, when my mum was at the chalet there, me and Joni walked to the Dutch-colonial chalets where we had our Volleyball chalet, and I saw OCH again. I had the similar feeling inside me, similar to the first one I felt when I saw it that night.

Oh, those memories!
Those volleyball days
I remember seeing 'J*ses Chr*st' while walking to AMK Sec for volleyball friendly match. And laughed with the others
I remember eating at Jack's place, and Hazel had to go, and I reminded her to pay like I was some Qing Xuan
I remember Perleen telling us "You know I go Palau Ubin do what anot? Go there see the fish leh!
I remember Sharmini's knees lighter than the other parts of her legs, because we trained with knee guards under the sun
I remember myself, during Sec 1, I was carrying five balls, walked up the hill, tripped on the bench, and fell with the balls. And Jenny helping me
I remember when Jaslyn was the setter, always tucking in/playing with her shirt
I remember Aunty Huang cutting the watermelon with her ruler

Those are memories, and I didn't refer to my diary or whatever, I just thought of them.

But those are the nice, memorable one I'd never forget
There's plenty of bad ones.

I remember when we were at the beach Volleyball tournament, and when I served into the net, a certain someone signalled me to use underhand. I like the advice, but I thought he was treating me like some bimbo.
I remember when I wasn't serious in volleyball then, and when I didn't receive the ball, someone said the f-word.
I remember when I thought it was cool to wear the tie the whole day, which I did, because it made me look like a prefect, someone said I was acting guai
I remembered when a someone went to snatch my library card to look at my photo, I snatched it back, and that someone said I acted cool.
I remembered who who reported to Mr. Sim when I fought with Nicholas
I remembered who I injured twice: kicking his toe, and pulling his chair
I remembered who I annoyed the hell out of during science class

Memories are nice, but like Rikku says, that's all they are
I would prefer the nice one. I hope when I write the nasty ones here, I'd have gotten them off my mind, and forget those bad one, and keep moving forward, like what Jigsaw want us to do.

But those good one, they'd be nice, but we can never relive them. I guess I'd be sad if we all part.
I picture the day after our O'level results, after all our hard work, our fights, our disses, our laughs, and us annoying Sarah, I really think it's sad to part. I'm close to very few of the above mentioned, but I guess I'd remember them, and someday, when I'm 40, after finishing climbing a mountain or giving an activist speech or finish a war, I'd come home, make myself drink, seat on my computer and read all these posts, where all is written.

I love you!
Now let's try not to be emo.
I'd miss Perleen, Janelle, Sharmini, Sarah, Meh Meh, Yun Kai, Jaslyn, Aunty Huang, the volleyball "Oh My God" team

Now, the funny thing is, I'm still with them, and I have 1.5 years to go.
How typical of an Emo Lim.

2009-04-17T14:56:00.002+08:00

"I love you", said in the park, is as equavalent to "Do the fucking dishes at home", said in the bedroom. No, no, they're just spoken in two very different languages.

They had a charm about them. They made you love them so much, that you would choose o become like them.
Well, probably because if we're not them, and we do what the we'd be called an act

2009-04-17T14:33:00.000+08:00

'Sweet youth, Tell me why, sad and sighing, thou dost rove
These pleasent realms? I pray thee speak me sooth
What is thy name?' He said, 'My name is Love.'
Then straight the first did turn himself to me
And cried, 'He lieth, for his name is Shame,
But I am Love, and I was wont to be
Alone in this fair garden, till he came
Unasked by night; I am true Love,
I fill The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.'
Then sighing, said the other, 'Have thy will,
I am the love that dare not speak its name.'
~Two loves, Lord Alfred Douglas

Sodomy

2009-04-17T13:27:00.003+08:00

Haven't been blogging much these few days. I've piles of composition I'm lazy to do. How does competition help students in real life? How would I know, since I haven't finished my journey on Earth yet?

Anyways, I'm reading A stranger in the mirror again. I like it. Every time I read it, it feels like I'm stuck in Hollywood. The book transports me to Toby Temple and ~~Josephine Czinski~~ Jill Castle. It gives a real real insight of what the show business is really like. It's not that simple actually. Some people want to be a star, and they are stuck in that dream, even when they become old hags, they are still dreaming. In other words, Time was their enemy, the devil who betrayed them.

And I liked it when Toby finally found a lady like Jill. To be honest, I'm happy for Toby more than I am happy for Jill. It's true. It could be me, because I empathize with Toby more, or it could be the way Sheldon introduces Toby first. And talked more about Toby. I don't now, but it seems like I can relate to Toby more.

One thing I like about Toby, was his personality when he's not 'evil' or doing mean stuff, is that from the book, there's something innocent I can draw from him. Like when he fell for Jill. He was in love, practically. I know that, not because I'm some stupid woman, but because I'm the third person reading the whole book, watching all of the characters from a third-person point of view.

But for Jill Castle, I doubted her feelings, because she actually was in love with Toby's fame and power. She was the one who dragged Toby to dinners, shows, until Toby got a stroke, because he overworked. What Jill didn't get, was what she threw at Toby. But still, though Toby was damn tired, he still attended shows and events, because he loved Jill.

And it was Jill who killed Toby. To be with David. David was her old flame, and she was Mrs Toby Temple, until Toby became a vegetable, and David comes into the picture again. So Jill thought it's be an escape to kill Toby and go off with David, because she didn't want to be stuck with Jill.

So I do pity Toby, the same way I feel for Noelle Page
I'll talk about her maybe after the exams, after I read it again.

Anyways, talking about love, I feel inferior
I don't think I can ever find a boyfriend, actually
It's like, I feel I'm not strong enough to protect them. How can I deserve to love someone, if I cannot protect that person?

2009-04-16T20:29:00.003+08:00

Oh, the holidays! Those surreal times!
Magical.
I miss those sec 1 december days I used to spend reading Fics and playing Audition
Then Sec 2 holidays were spent finishing a little of work, reading books, playing Audition and maple.
Ok, this June, this is what I shall download and play after exams

Beast of blood

2009-04-14T20:03:00.001+08:00

Finally, I have some time to blog. Phew
I'm not a romantic person actually but I think this sounds right

"It is no lie, that every couple can be called 'Beauty and the Beast'"

2009-04-10T21:32:00.002+08:00

That's it.
I'm sick of this.
For months, my thesis
would see saw .I keep wondering
if it's true, I keep telling myself it's
not true. But I don't know if it's true.
Especially when you write better poems
than I do. But I just hate it that you sit there,
not doing anything, and leave me to wonder everything.
It's either you get a stable replacement for me, or you tell me!
Just tell me, not because I would love to hear that, I would want
to get my mind off as fast as possible. I keep telling myself it's not true
She
keeps
telling
me
nothing.

I miss you. I'll never let you go, I promise. You'll always be there for me, right? Never, ever die on me.

Welcome to Mexico

2009-04-09T19:04:00.002+08:00

Studying for physics is hard. When your nose and brain is blocked
Jill Castle is virtual and laterally invertal, but upright.

Watched Fast and Furious today
It was quite nice, but there were some parts where I didn't understand, like why Dom when hunting for some Braga guy.
The plot's ok, and at first, the hyjacking was rather interesting, but when Lettey died, I thought it was the FBI who announced a fake death to lure Dom, but she was killed by someone.

And the ending's like other fast and furious movie, no conclusion, and what I liked was that when Dom was in the jail van, the rest hijacked the car. This time, for friendship, not for money.

And Jordana Brewster's back! :D

Oh, and I seriously think th movie should not have been PG.
I actually heard a boy say "Oh my god!" out loud.
hahas
And duting the part, where Brian was wounded on the floor, and held the bad guy to the ground, Dom's car sped towards them, ramming the bad guy.
The kids laughed

Well, the movie's quite nice. But lesser stunts than 2 fast 2 furious.

2009-04-09T19:04:00.000+08:00

Wish me luck!

But still, there's cunts and cb fucks

2009-04-08T21:25:00.000+08:00